College

Today I went down to the junior college that I plan upon attending in the fall. I looked around and figured out what my next step is in order to get in, and I'm still just as nervous as I was before I went there. I keep being told that it's nothing, I'll get used to college and then I'll wonder what the fuss was all about, I don't know why they bother saying it, it doesn't change the way I feel.

Musical Monday - No Matter What

My song for today is "No Matter What" by Papa Roach.

Life

Some say life is a train

Set on a track that can’t change

All joy is predetermined, as is pain

The track ends at a set age.

Others say life is a road

With many choices along the way

When you reach the end of one road

There is always another way.

I believe it is the last

For if life were a track

Then everything would come to pass

So much easier; without a way back

Poems by Emily Dickinson

I have been keeping a small book of Emily Dickinson’s poetry by my computer: I read a bit while I’m waiting of something to load up, and I’ve come to find that I can read the exact same poem on two different days and sometimes I can understand what she is

trying to say better than other times. I think it has everything to do with my mood. If the poem is subtly rebellious to the higher order of things and I am in a similar state of mind I will pick up her meaning a lot better than if I were at peace with the world and was trying to read the same poem, in which case I will have trouble understanding its meaning.

  To write poetry that is entirely written with raw emotion through symbolism is an incredibly difficult task (I know because I’ve tried). While poets sometimes frustrate me “Why can’t they just say what they mean straight out instead of using ridiculous, and overly decorated and exaggerated innuendos?” However I do recognize that reading and writing such poetry does exercise one’s mind, and expands one’s vocabulary as well.

  So, I shall keep Emily Dickinson beside my computer, besides it’s a good way to spend the time as pointless and life sucking advertisements load onto my server screen.

Survival Editing

I’m going through my final editing cycle of “Survival” before I print it out. I’ll hold it in my hands and glow, like a loving parent should its child. Then I’ll put it in a drawer for a month or so, and then when my euphoria has subsided, I’ll destroy my ego with the merciless red pencil of critics.

  I’m about halfway my final computer edit, finishing Chapter Thirty last night. Which reminds me, I should probably print out “A Slice of Life Death” too, but I can’t let myself get distracted, (which happens entirely too easy for me sometimes.)

  Then there’s “Samantha’s Animal Stories” which I have sent out the last few agent queries that I’m going to be sending before I throw in the towel on that endeavor. I gave up on finding an agent for “My Magical World” a while ago. I’m thinking of deleting “Stargazers” - again. I’m hesitant to start writing “Chloe’s Diary” since I really don’t like the characters, though I love the story; and…I got off track didn’t I?

  Well, I’m going back to editing.