The Writer

Standing back

Thinking, and seeing

Not speaking

Just looking.

Wandering, seeking

Both my eyes are open

Listening, hearing

Silently staring.

Sitting,

 blind to the joy

deaf to the laughter

dumb to the well-spoken

Thinking is fearing

Doing is reckless

Loving is damning

Hating is worse.

Just sit there

And finish your story.

A little Too Different

Why do I stand off

to the side?

Why do I choose to

Break instead of abide?

Perhaps you’ll understand

 I’m not like this by choice

I couldn’t be any other way,

Unless I wish to lie.

I’ve been shoved out

Of the main frame

Stabbed in the front

Shoved into lockers and

Told to change

Because I’m

Just a little too different.

Because I’m

Not afraid to be me.

You see people

In their little cliques

They look

and act

and dress

All the same.

They are soulless

Their too damn scared

To be themselves.

I walk in a straight line

Not on the left

Not on the right.

I find my peace

somewhere between.

Some say I’m too free

Move along.

Others say

I’m too calm

I’m better off at home in bed.

Because I’m

Just a little too different.

Because I

Can’t be labeled.

I just can’t fit in anywhere.

I’m just a little too different.

I make everybody realize

They’re not happy

 With who they are.

They aren’t who they should be.

/so why can’t I

Just fall in line?

With one side or the other?

It’d make everyone else

Feel so much better.

But the only person

I need to make happy

Is me; not all of you.

Because I’m

Just a little too different.

Because I’m

Not okay with sacrificing my soul

Just to be like you.

I’m just a little too different to care.

That’s right,

I’m just a little too different to care.

Poetry Fuming

I didn’t realize until a little while ago that I vent when I write poetry. I know, I always vent when I write, but it seems to be especially so when I am attempting to be a poet, and it’s not an intentional fume, I just…fume. I let out whatever has been bothering me, or making me happy, or sad, or at peace. Whatever it is, I tend to keep true to what I’m truly feeling when I’m writing a poem. I don’t know why, maybe it’s because I’m so unoriginal all I can write about are my emotions in some form, even “Hostage” my last poem was addressing my feelings of being trapped and vulnerable.

  On the other hand, somewhere I heard that poets only write about their feelings in some form, well, if that’s true, I guess that I am a poet. I have always flirted with the art of poetry, but never have I ever pictured myself as welding the pen of poetry as an expert, I still don’t. I am first and foremost a writer, but I know that even ahead of that, I am a storyteller and I suppose if I think of being a poet as another way of telling a story, I guess I can accept the title of poet…nah.

My Puppy

Whenever I’m feeling like the entire world doesn’t understand me, or I think there is something wrong with me, I confide in my dog. He always makes me feel better. He still wiggles and waggles the same way he did when he was a puppy, which is really comical because he’s so big now.
He still loves to rub up against me; it almost makes me fall down. I keep telling him not to do that, one of these days he’s going to land me on my ass, but he doesn’t care, he just wants to be close to me. It’s sooo sweet!!
I still adore him just as much as I did when he was smaller than our little dog: Tippy; now if he stands on his hind legs he can kiss me on the mouth, though I’ve told him not to do that, ‘cause he’s a dog and that’s grows. I love, love, love, love him!
He likes to sleep beneath my bedroom window, so if the window is open and I’m listening to songs on my computer I can hear him sigh. These sighs are superbly timed, they always occur every time an angry rock song ends, then I play something softer, and I don’t get any comments from the doggy peanut gallery. I guess he doesn’t care for screaming and guitar solos.
So, I love him, he loves me, and all is right with the world!

Merlin, my puppy!

You Were Mine ~ Dixie Chicks

I have always loved the Dixie Chicks, and I grew up listening to this song, so I figured it was about time I posted it!

Sanity

“I became insane, with long intervals of horrible sanity.” Edgar Allan Poe. 

The first time I read the above quote I did not understand what it meant. Now I know exactly what Mr. Poe meant. Upon reflecting the time in which I first read the quote, I was happy. The world made sense to me, even if everything wasn’t right, it made sense. Now that my world has completely turned around, I came to the realization (yesterday in fact) that if I was the one that was crazy and not the entire world, it would be so much easier to accept the world as it was, rather then I and a handful of individuals are sane, and the rest of the people are completely lost. After a quick examination of what insanity and sanity is, which was a rather long one, so I decided against writing it all out, since I figured people of “average intelligence” wouldn’t understand anyways. The conclusion I was brought to after my research was that if sanity is the “normal and acceptable” state of mind that our society accepts, such as the act of paying to watch commercials on TV, deliberately poisoning one’s self with alcohol to fit in is sane…I’d rather be abnormal in my thought process. While this thought doesn’t help me out very much, it does make sense of the quote, which is becoming my motto.

Keeping on subject I figured I’d close with a song I’ve been listening to entirely too much lately: “Psycho” by Puddle of Mudd.

Thursday Therapy

  Sometimes you just need to go out and blow stuff up...like these guys did! But only under professional supervision of course! Play safely and have fun!

Disney Therapy

Me at the White Rabbit's House
Disneyland Resort-California

If you’re feeling really up tight, you just need a Disney break. If you live near a Disneyland resort, I strongly recommend getting an annual pass. If you don’t live near a resort, then don’t be bashful and dig up some old Disney videos and watch them. Smile, laugh, and just have fun with wonderful Disney.

  I’m going to be going away, without any access to a computer, so I’ll be back by Sunday, I think, but I may not be in the mood to post. See you by next Monday for sure! Lots of love.