So, the few of you who have returned here to this dead blog may be wondering what I've been doing these past 4 months, these silent months, these awful months. Well, I haven't died. Sorry about that. I've been trying to figure out what to do with my life where I want to go with it, what careers to pursue, what degree to achieve. Then I realized that it doesn't matter. No matter what path I chose I will not be wanted in this country, in this economy, in this place. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like this. I've done everything right. I've applied for college, I've completed my first year, whoopy. I've applied for jobs, when that didn't work I started my own Avon business. I've written a couple of books, none of which has gotten an editor or a publisher. I'm approaching the point that I'm almost through with self-publishing my first book. I could have done it before I posted my last post 4 months ago. Why didn't I? Because as I kept spending more time on it I wondered "Why am I doing this? If someone wanted to read this book, why hasn't anyone shown interest in it?" Writing careers are dead. Why do I bother? Why do I try? I could never answer these questions, so I stopped. 4 months went by and I forgot that I ever asked these questions, so I went back to publishing it, now I've remember the questions and I still don't have answers.
I'm in an overpopulated world with apparently enough workers to go around, so there aren't enough jobs for all the bodies out there, so they must have all the workers they need. So why does nothing get done very fast? Why does road work take so long if they have enough workers? Why are there so many reality TV shows if there's enough writers? So many writers that they don't want to even look at my stories. So many people without jobs and yet not enough people working on projects and not enough people working in restaurants or stores or anything else to give anyone good service? Does this make sense to anybody? Anybody at all?
So that's why I've been silent. I made it through my second semester of school and I still don't know what I want to do with myself. I want to pick a career that I will make money at, that's what I want, apparently there is no such thing for people like me. So what should I do? Why do I even get up out of bed if no one wants me? If no one needs me?
There is no special someone, there is no perfect career, unless I want to work for free, write and act for free and that's an insanity in and of itself. So that's why I'm not writing on this blog anymore. But I'm not going to delete this blog either because if I do and someone copies my work, I won't have proof that I wrote it first, and I'll be working for free again.
These are my last words here and I wish you all luck. Because you're going to need it if you're going to survive 2012.
