Shinedown ~ Burning Bright

This is a song I just heard from my new CD. I really like it.

The Heart

Lock it up,

Keep it close

Bar the door

But keep the window open.

Let it live

It needs air

It is easily broken

But protect it from harm

It’s a gentle thing

Yet it can be cold

It’s a giving thing

But it can be the cruelest of all.

It keeps a goal

It takes it’s time

It keeps a beat

But it’s quick to fall.

It moves life

Through our veins

It’s a part of us

But it has a mind of its own.

A hopeless romantic,

A match-maker,

A bubbly little thing

But it gives itself away without thinking twice.

It is the heart

Our hearts

My heart

But it’s really all the same.

Our hearts bind us

And bleeds and beats

And cries and laughs

But they can also be so indifferent.

It will drive you mad

To try and figure it out

It gives life a purpose

But you can’t predict its actions.

It’s more than just an organ

A pump of the body

It can make you insane

But its joys are incomparable.

So keep your heart close

Protect is from itself

But once it decides to fall

You’re going down with it.

The Caterpillar's Wife

Mary crawled up the trunk of the maple tree, she was feeling very flustered today. Actually she felt flustered a lot of the time, but it wasn’t her fault, no, no. Her mother had told her there would come a time when she would feel ugly. At the time she couldn’t image being and feeling ugly at the same time, but the time had come. She felt slow and heavy; all she wanted to do was sleep and eat. It meant only one thing: the change was coming.

Soon her entire existence would be altered. Her lifestyle, the way her body looked and functioned would change, she would be able to fly. A daunting a thought as that might be she had thought there would be someone to support her. Someone to talk her through this tough time; that someone was Carl.

He had been charming and sweet…for the first five minutes.

Now he ate and slept just as much, nay, more than even she did!

She tried to speak to him about it, but he would always shush her. Last time, he said it was very crass of her to even speak of such things. Crass! Crass! They were married! Before she could come up with a descent argument, he had gone back to eating. Indignant; she left to go down to sulk and nibble on the remains of the leaves she and Carl had missed.

As Mary reached the leafy branch that she and Carl had been eating at for the past few days, she took a sip of some dew. Panting from exhaustion she forced her soar feet to crawl to the branch where she had last seen her husband.

“Carl!” she called, “are you still here?”

There was no reply.

Odd, she thought to herself. There were plenty of unfinished leaves and dew on these branches. She couldn’t think of why he would have moved on.

  Maybe he came looking for me, she thought dubiously. No most likely he got eaten by a bird; serves him right for eating out in the open. Oh, well, more for me.

  A few hours later she had just finished off a leaf and was out to find another one when something caught her eye. It was brown, and curled up. Surely it can’t be a leaf! She thought shocked. That would me she was late changing.

Crawling closer to the brown thing she realized it was a chrysalis.

“Carl! How could you!?” She squealed in anger, “of all the selfish things to do!” she scolded the Carl-sized cocoon. “You get to sleep while I’m stuck out here it’s so rude, it’s…it’s – cosmopolitan! That’s what it is! It’s so rude the world, knows it! You just wait until you wake up and I’ll give you a piece of my mind!”

Her Name is Alice ~ Shinedown

I have been listening to this song everyday for the past week. So I figured that sharing this song with all of you would be a good way to start out this lovely, sunny Tuesday.

Her Name is Alice ~ Shinedown

I've been listening to this song a couple times a day for the past week. So I thought sharing it would be a good way to start this lovely, sunny Tuesday!

Inspiration

Fall Semester is finally over, and I’m already starting to dread the Spring Semester, but let’s not think about that. Now that I have the time to write, and I mean truly sit down and just do it and not thinking about anything else, or rushing so that I can get it over with and move on to some sort of assignment, self assigned or otherwise.

The subject according to the subject heading I picked is inspiration. So, I’ll start there, the inspiration for this post is that I just visited my Aunt Christine in the hospital today. Well, she’s not really my aunt, but I’ve adopted her. She's just had brain surgery to have a tumor removed. I watched her going through the past year as she prepared herself physically, mentally and spiritually for this surgery and I think I will take away from this time watching and being with her as a really inspirational rather than a scary experience (though it certainly was). After all of the stress and worry it was good to see her picking at her indigestible hospital food and great us with a tired but sweet smile.

I met my aunt not long after my family moved to California and my Mama and I were looking for a place to grow as writers. We found the Coffee House Writers Group and I was very pleased to join it. Christine was both the leader and organizer of the group and now she has definitely earned the title Fearless leader. She's officially one of the bravest people I've ever met. Forget my veteran Grandfather, cousins and Great Uncle, anyone can get drafted.

So, after I wrote my title (yes, sometimes I write a title before writing a post) I asked myself after I chose my title, (or my title chose me) what inspires me? Who inspires me? But most importantly: what does it or they inspire me to do or be?

 I thought of Christine and her poor head looking like something from a horror or graphic civil war film (which are pretty much the same thing) and Christine’s playful comment that she was going to be trying out for Frankenstein’s Monster’s Wife; although now that I think of it, one would be hard pressed to find someone casting for such a roll during Yuletide…

  She inspires me to be happy, to be brave, to write, to smile, to live, to love and above all to be me, especially during hard times.

The Writer

Standing back

Thinking, and seeing

Not speaking

Just looking.

Wandering, seeking

Both my eyes are open

Listening, hearing

Silently staring.

Sitting,

 blind to the joy

deaf to the laughter

dumb to the well-spoken

Thinking is fearing

Doing is reckless

Loving is damning

Hating is worse.

Just sit there

And finish your story.

I'm Going to Hell

Lights up on stage, I’m practicing the piano on an average living room set. The sound of a door bell sounds. I stop playing startled. I go to door and look through peep hole.

Lights up on right corner of stage where two young men in white shirts and ties with backpack on standing at the door. Lights down over guys go as I step away from the door.

I walk upstage; more lights go up to where my brother has been quietly playing video games this whole time.

Me

It's Jehovah witnesses.

Brother

Yeah.

Me

I’m not answering it, are you?

Brother

No.

Me

Chuckling

The piano suddenly stops the moment they ring the door bell, they probably saw me from the window too.

Brother

Busy killing people on-line

Hmm.

I stand a moment before walking back to check the door just as there’s another knock. In a split second decision I open the door.

Guy 1#

Hi there.

Me

Hi.

Guy 1#

Who are?

Me

I look at the audience blue lights go on representing my thoughts.

None of your business, who are you?

I look at back at the door, lights go back to normal.

Samantha.

Guy 1#

I’m Jim. This is Henry.

Me

Nod at Henry in greeting.

Jim

We’re from the Jesus …… Church.

Me

Lights go blue.

Well, thank God you’re not Jehovah Witnesses.

Lights go back to normal.

Jim

And we have a message for you.

Me

Lights go blue again.

Oh boy.

Normal lights.

Henry

We have a ten minute speech that we do with all families we find and it’s just ten minutes, but it could change your life.

Me

Snort.

Henry

Do you think there is a time that we could speak to your entire family?

Me

No, I don’t think so, thanks. You have a good day.

Jim

Thanks bye.

Me

Walking back to brother.

I didn’t do too badly did I?

Brother

You did better than what I would have.

Me

Really.

Brother

Yeah, I almost laughed.

Me

When?

Brother

When you snorted.

Me

I didn’t snort.

Brother

Yeah you did right after he said their message would change your life.

Me

I wasn’t aware of it.

Brother

Yeah, it was funny, I almost laughed out loud.

Me

Well, if I did that badly, I guess I should just mess with their heads and say what I’m thinking, at least then I’ll be entertained. I’m going to hell anyways.

Brother

Yeah.

My Basement

It is insane

By the end of everyday

I should stay

And lay

Always afraid

Of something unpaid

Something left undone

From which I wish to run,

Like a bullet from a gun.

Ahh! The gun

After it went off

My fate did change

It opened wide the gate

The door

Oh! No! Not the door!

Down the basement

When it hordes

A person once adored.

He was smitten,

Like a kitten

Not nearly as fit in

the society.

Pity I did take on him

But not long did it take

My soul to break

A clipping chipping,

Heart-less man.

My heart did sign

And like a useless

Tumor within me.

It did spread like a cancer

There was but one person to answer

For the numbness that is me.

Standing within the kitchen

Was the case of my affliction

To fulfill my intention was so easy.

Who would have thought freedom

Could come at so small an expense?

All I needed was the cheap pistol

Why by the handsome revolver when

The cheap thing will do the job?

Maybe once all is done

And all my cares are buried

And no more need me thought of

I shall learn to live before I die again.

Florence and the Machine - What the Water Gave Me

I swear I've listened to this song ten times in two days!

Art of Dying ~ "Die Trying"

I think I have a new band to obsess over!

A College Story

I never really liked Terrance. Sure, he was charismatic and funny, he didn’t have a bad head on his shoulders either. No, it wasn’t his light, light blue eyes that always made him look high that caused me my reaction to stay away of him. It was something beneath the mask of personality he wore. I can’t really describe it either. I just know that the one time I sat next to him in class, I felt dirty. I took a half hour shower the moment I got back to the dorm. He didn’t even touch me, if he had I would have probably have needed to set that part of my body on fire to get rid of the feeling, and to keep it from spreading.

So, I can’t say I was shocked...well, yes I was shocked; the act in itself is shocking. The fact that one human-being could do something like that to another human-being is shocking, the fact that it happened at our campus, makes it even harder to swallow…Swallow, what a phrase!

The fact of the matter is because it was Terrance is the only reason I believed the story the first time I heard it.

  He killed Ellen by forcing her to swallow drain cleaner.

Apples

A musician am I,

A player with words

Some say it’s the poet

But I put them all to shame.

I go down the dirt road

To see what I can find:

A vender selling apples

A not too common sight.

I stepped to a basket

And grabbed one for a bite

I know the sweeter insides

As it is my favorite part

But without the bitter skin

The sweetness has no more appeal.

I take a seat

To watch the afternoon

Pass me by.

Before long I nodded off

And I dream I did comprise.

I gazed upon an apple

Which landed in my lap.

Its mother, I knew not where she stood

All I know is her baby

Fell from the sky.

The smooth skin I knew so well,

Though yet easily broken

To press it in any place leaves a bruise.

Not unlike a heart

I thought as

 I rolled the fruit

Between my hands.

Like a heart, that’s troubled love

Did press until a mark,

Was all that was left behind.

The bruise is not immediate

Show the mark, but only

To be found by gentle touch.

The wounds are sensitive

And if not remedied

Shall poison all the rest.

With many shaped and tones

It has many personalities.

The small blackened spots are old injuries.

They are tough and hard

They show experience and past.

It is beneath the dark surface

The sweetest juice is found.

Monday - Not So Bad?

I knew it was going to be a crappy day before I even opened my eyes. I could hear the soft pitter patter of rain that was hitting the shrubbery beneath my bedroom window, the uneven rhythm was interrupted by a sharp plunk as the occasional large drop of water fell of a tree leaf and hit a windowpane.

Rain is always good thing, that’s what my mom used to say “it makes everything green”. Yeah, too bad the good people of Southern California have no idea how to drive in the rain! I learned how to drive in the Ozark Mountains where what is called “rain” in So Cal was known as a “mist”. Buckets being poured from the sky was barely considered a storm, there had to be lightning, a gust, or hail (preferably all of the above) to be an undisputed “storm”, and we got plenty of storms all year.

The temperature must have dropped over night as well. My nose, exposed shoulders and arms felt as cold as marble while I tried to find my blankets by touch. My numb fingers fumbled as they found the edge of the comforter. Once I got a good grip, I gave it a swift pull and covered my freezing upper body only to uncover my toes. Curing up into a loose ball (and sticking my nose beneath the covers for good measure) I waited for the cool and lifeless fabric to warm up with my less than considerable body temperature.

I breathed in the familiar scent of my bed as my muscles slowly began to warm up and relax; that was when my alarm went off. I have nothing against Aerosmith, except when they are waking me up in the morning. My arm shot out and slammed on the off button. The cold surface of my radio seemed to suck the heat out of my hand and soon began to do the same to my arm. I quickly pulled it back under the covers.

I took a deep breath as I prepared myself of the shock my body would receive when I threw my covers back to sit up…and I had thought Monday was a bad day.

"Pull Me In" ~ Spence

The lead singer of Spence reached out to me on facebook asking me to check out his bands page. I did and I 'liked' it because I really did like it. I then pointed him in the direction of my blog, he started following it and we've continued being friends on-line ever since. If you guys enjoy this song, please find Spence on facebook and click the 'like' button. I have a link at the bottom of this post so just click the play button, listen, click the link at the bottom of the post, sign into facebook, click 'like' and you're done. Easy huh?

Spence facebook link:   http://www.facebook.com/#!/SpenceTheBand

P.S. Yes, Daniel is my friend, but he didn't ask me to do this. I just think he and his band deserve the referral. They just got a record deal and as I understand it are either touring now or will be very shortly, so be sure to see where they are at and go and see them!

50 Things That Are Right About Me

50 Things that are Right About Me

Here’s a good self-esteem booster I found on the blog of a fellow writer. Here’s the link to her blog: http://coreenamcburnie.blogspot.com/2011/09/50-things-that-are-right-about-me.html

Just list 50 things that are right about you, and it will help you realize there is nothing wrong with you.

1.       I love to quilt with my Mama

2.       I love my dog

3.       I love both my brothers

4.       I love my parents

5.       I love to write

6.       I have been a storyteller since I could speak

7.       I love acting

8.       I love to listening to Skillet

9.       I love Amy Lee’s voice

10.   I think Jacoby Shaddix is a hoot

11.   I think Jerry Horton is hot

12.   I think TV is a load of crap more times than not

13.   I think Christine Bryant is a sweet heart

14.   I think people over-use and misuse the word “friend”

15.   I think my brother’s little dog is a little nuts

16.   I think Billy Joe from Green Day should never get his teeth straightened

17.   I love Three Days Grace’s last album “Life Starts Now”

18.   I love giving my family hugs

19.   I think that this year I will be able to pay for a dress that I’ve been dying to buy since I saw it.

20.   I love the color pink

21.   I think everyone looks better with long hair

22.   School comes before my job

23.   School comes after my family

24.   Nothing comes after my family

25.   Listening to music makes me happy

26.   Listening to music makes me more creative

27.   I love Chi tea

28.   I’m okay with wearing no makeup

29.   I don’t like short skirts

30.   I love wearing hats

31.   I’d rather wear glasses than contacts

32.   I am a witch

33.   I am a musician

34.   I am a natural artist

35.   I don’t care if people hate me for my hair color

36.   I am drawn toward real people

37.   I have a pretty mouth

38.   I like my hands

39.   I enjoy watching movies with my family

40.   I love sunny days

41.   I have the cutest dog in the world!

42.   I have the cutest little brother in the world

43.   I got my driver’s license on the third try

44.   I like to sleep in

45.   I like chatting with cool people on the internet

46.   I exercise everyday

47.   I always get my homework in on time

48.   I like helping people

49.   I like staying up late

50.   I love living in California

Please follow my blog and friend me on facebook where I keep an update on all of my progress with my books and my blog. Thanks for your support.

Skillet, Whispers

Love, love, love this song!! "My love is, just waiting, to turn your tears to roses!" Turn it up and rock!

A Talk with My Piano Teacher

Ever since we moved to California, my family and I have been unable to find a piano teacher we can afford. So, my brother’s and I have been teaching ourselves new pieces. Our old teacher, Fran, told us before we left that we all knew enough between the three of us that we could all keep learning with each other’s help and no teacher.

  Yesterday I called Fran because I hadn’t contacted her in a while and had been meaning to for some time. Her husband picked up and I when I said my name he didn’t remember my name, but after I said I was the red-head who used to take lessons from Fran and they would always run late he remembered me and said he’d try to find her.

  Fran was always more like the grandmother I never had than a piano teacher, she’s sweet and forgetful like an older woman should be, and she tends to go off on some story and then forget what her point was; though there was plenty of piano playing involved in the time we spent with her I assure you. She was just very special; I wish we could have brought her with us.

  She answered the phone and was very pleased to hear me as she said at least five times throughout the phone call. She would just tack on to the end of her sentence, “and I’m so glad you called me dear, it’s so good to hear from you.” I don’t have the greatest memory in the world either, so this is not exactly the way the conversation went, but she is just so sweet and I miss her so much, I couldn’t avoid writing it down.

  After she greeted me she said, "I knew you were going to call me, because I was thinking about you and I thought they should call me."

Me: And here I am!

  Fran: Right dear, here you are, now how are things going have you found a job? (it‘s obvious in hindsight that she had wanted to ask this question since she got on the phone).

  Me: Yes, I’m selling Avon.

  Fran: Oh, really? That’s wonderful dear. How about your brother?

  Me: He’s still looking.

  Fran: Right well, I should have said this…but- I know it’s going to sound silly but, I think you all should try teaching piano. I think it would be a good experience for you since lessons are so expensive out there, you could probably find some little kids to teach and it will greatly benefit you, as well as making some money. You won’t charge as much because you don’t have a master’s degree and you have no experience, but that will be fair, and the teachers there shouldn’t get upset about you charging less because you don’t have any experience.

  Me:  Yeah.

  Fran: I mean, I learned so much after I started teaching. Because you have to think a lot; you have to ask yourself, ‘how am I going to teach this?’

  Me: Yes, but I’m not sure what a good age to start would be, because as I got out doing my daily errands I see kids and a lot the five and six-years-olds are just so unruly.

  Fran: Five year-olds are terrible and my old teacher got four five-years-olds and she didn’t want to teach them, so she gave them to me and I was seventeen-years-old and with no teaching experience at all! I had no idea what I was doing and they left after three weeks. I couldn’t control four five-year-olds! They were running around, jumping, and laughing at me. I had no control over them. So they left. Then after I got married and my first husband and I were living in Wichita Kansas, and like most young people, we were short on money. So my husband told me I needed to start teaching and I said ‘O-o-okay’ then I loved it. I learned so much! And the feeling that you get when your student goes to a recital and plays well is great. You can imagine what that did for my ego, because if your student does well, then you must be a good teacher.

  Me: Yeah.

  Fran: And I am a very good teacher, I’m so old now, there’s really no point in modesty. I am a good teacher and have been for a long time. Then there’s my old student S- did you ever meet him?

  Me: Yes, I believe I did once.

  Fran: Well, he lives down in Florida and he works for a music store and he was doing pretty well, but he still needed some money, so he started teaching and he does rather well…I don’t know how I started talking about all of this.

  Me: You think piano teaching would be good for me.

Fran: Right, yes, it would be very good I think for you and both your brothers, but especially you.

  Around this time the phone was disconnected and I had to redial, I won’t go into all that we talked about, but after I spoke with her I decided that everyone needs a Fran in their life and my brothers and I are going to make an extra effort to speak to her more often.

A little Too Different

Why do I stand off

to the side?

Why do I choose to

Break instead of abide?

Perhaps you’ll understand

 I’m not like this by choice

I couldn’t be any other way,

Unless I wish to lie.

I’ve been shoved out

Of the main frame

Stabbed in the front

Shoved into lockers and

Told to change

Because I’m

Just a little too different.

Because I’m

Not afraid to be me.

You see people

In their little cliques

They look

and act

and dress

All the same.

They are soulless

Their too damn scared

To be themselves.

I walk in a straight line

Not on the left

Not on the right.

I find my peace

somewhere between.

Some say I’m too free

Move along.

Others say

I’m too calm

I’m better off at home in bed.

Because I’m

Just a little too different.

Because I

Can’t be labeled.

I just can’t fit in anywhere.

I’m just a little too different.

I make everybody realize

They’re not happy

 With who they are.

They aren’t who they should be.

/so why can’t I

Just fall in line?

With one side or the other?

It’d make everyone else

Feel so much better.

But the only person

I need to make happy

Is me; not all of you.

Because I’m

Just a little too different.

Because I’m

Not okay with sacrificing my soul

Just to be like you.

I’m just a little too different to care.

That’s right,

I’m just a little too different to care.